Unexpected Surprises
by mysticpotion
Summary: My take on the Missing Scene from season 8 episode 21,right after when House says he wasn't going to tell Wilson that he loved him. Well in my AUniverse they have to have a VERY important conversation about love.Slash


**Unexpected Surprises**

"These Oreos are so good, you want some?"

The dimly lit kitchen, mirroring the bleak mood of its inhabitants, was only partially brightened by the rays of moonlight streaming in from the back window. Just enough light was cast to have successfully retrieved the cookies from the cupboard and to have poured two glasses of milk, now resting on the kitchen table untouched, next to the half empty whisky glasses. The pensive thoughts of the Diagnostician had been broken upon hearing his friend's voice. Suddenly he was no longer in front of his diagnostics board, in his mind palace, pen in hand and desperately seeking a cure for all cancer. He was at a kitchen table watching the only thing that now mattered to him in life fading away with each breath. And it was destroying him. His voice came out in barely a choked whisper.

"No, not hungry, you knock yourself out though"

As the Oncologist finished the packet of cookies by tilting his head to swallow the remaining left over crumbs, he quickly tossed its hollow remains across the table and then finally focused his brown eyes on the blue orbs watching his every move.

"House, I just want to say thank you for accepting my decision, it really means a lot to me and... well... so do you"

House felt a jolt in the centre of his chest at those words. If he didn't know better he would have sworn it was his heart beginning to shatter. He did know better though. Reactions like that would be common and would increase in intensity in the next five months but would naturally pass in time. Well at least he hoped that they would because in all honesty he'd never experienced anything quite like it. His leg was nothing in comparison. He decided the only way to counteract the effects of this intense round of pain, was to joke his way out of the discussion currently causing it.

"Look Wilson, remember when we had the conversation in here a few weeks back regarding toning the Broman..."

A hand swooped across the table and rested lazily on House's arm. It was a motion designed to force him to listen to what was about to be said. The touch rendered him powerless. He was completely at the mercy of this man and the word's he was about to form.

"House, I'm serious, I need to say this and I need to say it now. Look you said at the door you weren't going to say you love me and I...I did what I usually do, I breathed a big sigh of relief and pushed my way in like nothing's happening, except it is. It is happening and I could continue hiding from everything, including you, or I could just for once in my screwed up life face up to everything I'm feeling and just be completely truthful"

There was that complete panic forming in his ever tightening chest again. He knew he was not ready to have another conversation like the one he had to endure in the car. This was only marginally better because Wilson wasn't sobbing like a lost child this time. He'd never saw Wilson like that before and it terrified him. It terrified him because it brought home the reality of what was now being faced in all its twisted and cruel forms. A life without Wilson. As he glanced at his friend across the table on this night, the night after the 'incident', he realised he'd never quite saw him like this either. He was completely determined. He knew deep down that nothing was preventing this conversation or the point Wilson was now going to make. He knew this and yet still he had to at least try and stop it, through fear of what it might reveal 20 years too late.

"Truthfulness is really overrated; I actually think you're sugared out from all the Oreos, so maybe we should counteract there affects with beer and pizza, I'll go get some"

"No, no, I'm not letting you run away from this or change the subject this time House. For once we are not joking our way through an important conversation. You don't have to tell me how you really feel about me, that's fine. I respect that, I get that, but I need to tell you this. I love you House. I love you more than anyone that's ever been in my life. I don't know why you are that person but that's the truth of it. There I said it. I finally said it. And I feel really stupid with you just sitting there staring at me like that. But that's fine. I said you didn't have to say anything back and I meant that...I did..."

House closed his eyes and let every admission of love that had come from the Oncologist's lips stab him repeatedly in the very core of his being. Of course he already knew that he was loved by Wilson but to hear it spoken out loud just brought more pain than pleasure now. Why couldn't Wilson see that? If he was honest he found it cruel that this was the time this conversation was occurring, a conversation he was being forced into having. He was upset and angry but he could endure that as long as he wouldn't have to say anything back. House watched Wilson carefully for several moments afterwards. He watched him take a swig of his whisky and lick his twitching lips, all the while avoiding eye contact with anything other than the wall. He watched him gradually form an annoyed look on his face and he knew, he just knew, like always, what his friend was saying even when he hadn't said a thing. House wondered how much more pain he would have to endure in the upcoming months, after everything he had been expected to face up to already in such a short space of time. With a heavy heart he said what was expected of him and what couldn't go unsaid now.

"You want me to say it back don't you?"

Wilson's brown eyes flashed upward in an almost pleading manner and his voice came out in a high pitched squeak of vulnerability that he had tried desperately to conceal

"Yes but I want you to want to say it back"

"Oh God"

House grabbed for the bottle of whisky and poured a large glass to once more numb the harsh reality that was painfully jabbing at and closing in on him from every angle. How exactly was he going to deny this man anything? When had he ever? If Wilson kept pushing then House knew he would eventually crack and tell him that he loved him but where would that get them? How would that be a comfort now? House really didn't want to admit fully to a love that had a 5 month expiration date. It would just make things so much harder on him when the time came to give it up forever. It was hard enough feeling it deep down without it being thrust to the surface and laid bare in words. This was a night he had originally just wanted to escape into with alcohol and sombre piano playing, brooding alone and contemplating life as the pathetic recluse he'd soon become . He wanted to start living life like that as soon as possible. He needed to make that transition whilst Wilson lived, so in his death he would know he could endure living like that however painful it might be. He had to know that he was strong enough not to reach for that gun in his cupboard and end it like Kutner did. He didn't want to be that person. He understood now. He got it. Still, he didn't want to be that person. He was thrust back from the reality that faced him 5 months from now into the reality of the moment. He hated both, but both he was destined to endure in some form or other.

"So don't say it until you're ready, or don't say it at all, whatever, it's cool."

"Good"

House grabbed the bottle of whisky and swung himself drunkenly around on the kitchen chair. Exactly when he had become pissed he didn't quite know but the bottle suddenly felt lighter and so did his head. Had he really just been contemplating putting the gun in his cupboard to his head and ending it like Kutner? Had he really just been thinking about telling Wilson he loved him? He needed more whisky. Although his perceptions where hazy he could vaguely feel his friends hate filled eyes boring into the back of his head for some reason. Why was that again? Ohhh...here goes...

"You absolute heartless bastard"

"Oh God"

"You aren't going to say it? Are you? I have 5 months left and you aren't going to say it"

"No I wasn't exactly planning on it."

"Of course you weren't!"

The Chair legs made a screeching sound along the floorboards, as the Oncologist pushed himself angrily upwards to vacate the kitchen and possibly the House in general. As if sensing this game plan, the diagnostician barred his entry into the living room in one uneasy side step, arms resting on the door frame and cane now crashing slowly to the floor. His voice had the measure of calm but with slurred panic slowly coursing around it's edges.

"It's not my style okay. You of all people should get that. I do, I don't say. Like the time I offered to kill myself to save your dying girlfriend I didn't even like that much. Or how about when I just nursed you through the intensive chemo treatment and gave you all my stash. Or should we talk about this week, when it's literally been KILLING ME because you won't fight to be with me a little longer. I accepted your idiocy in this matter didn't I, if that doesn't say love then what the Hell does!"

"Saying it, says it!"

"Not saying it, makes it more poignant I feel"

"This is me. House...it's me! And I'm dying!"

" I KNOW!"

He was shaking now. He pushed past the Oncologist and grabbed his vicodin off the table, popping the lid with one hand, spreading the pills onto the table and contemplating swallowing them all. He settled for three, washed down with the liquid that was left in the remainder of the bottle. The Oncologist moved slowly behind him and rested his hand tentatively on his shoulder. His next words where designed to be soothing but to House they were simply manipulative and as welcome as nails along a chalkboard

"This ...does it not mean anything? I need to know THIS means something. I need to hear you say that it means _something_"

House slammed his fists down onto the table and grabbed for the whisky bottle once more, clutching it tightly until his knuckles became deathly white. His words filled the entire living space and rumbled against the walls and through the floorboards.

"You know what screw it. GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE AND LET ME TRY TO WORK OUT HOW THE HELL I'M GOING TO GO ON WITHOUT YOU. I can't...I can't do this. I thought I could be there for you but I can't..i can't"

The whisky bottle suddenly and without warning was smashed across the kitchen wall, shards of glass flying everywhere. Blood seeped back into House's hand and the irony mixed with the shock of what he had done was nothing to the anger still bubbling because Wilson was still right there in his face pushing him to do something he was so against.

"Say It House, I need to hear you say it, please say It... SAY IT"

House grabbed Wilson with both shoulders as if ready to squeeze the life out of him right there and then, making the five month prognosis completely null and void. All the fear and frustration they both had felt since that day in Wilson's office when he broke the news that he had cancer, seemed to be consuming them in a fire and driving them both together and apart all at once.

"Get out Wilson, Get out before I do something really stupid"

"Say it, I'm not going until I hear you say it, say it... JUST SAY IT!

In the briefest of moments both Oncologist and Diagnostician went from facing up to one another to being completely melded into one. Arms grabbed at fabric and bodies collided in a haze of confusion and desperation. Lips moved quickly against lips and only the noise of heartfelt sighing and sorrow filled the air of the room. It was a few moments later when they finally and reluctantly parted. Scared to look into one another's eyes, they merely held on to the others crumpled shirt and faced down into the darkness. The gruff and emotional voice of the older man, forced out the first words after the revelation.

"Like I said I'm a doer"

"I love you House"

"I know"

He couldn't tell Wilson he loved him but he had shown him in the most powerful way to date. He still wasn't quite sure if the night had been a good or a bad thing or whether or not it would ultimately push him further away or closer to that gun in his cupboard five months down the line. All he knew was that his heart had felt like it would burst from his chest at any moment, as he stood there holding Wilson in his grasp and listening to him plead to be told he was loved, so he had to do what he did. He needed this more than he'd needed anything in his life, so really he had no choice but to be with Wilson like this for as long as he could starting tonight. Being a recluse could wait a little longer. He had waited long enough for this, even if it was too little too late, it still had to be better than nothing. His thoughts were disturbed once more by the muffled words of the man who stood cradled in his arms with head resting in between the crook of his neck.

I've decided, I'm doing the chemo. I can't give this up just yet.

There it was, unexpected, a happy surprise to counteract all the negative shocks experienced in the last four weeks. House smiled and began to cry. He would never admit to it but Wilson would never mention it either. He couldn't quite believe that he would have him longer now. A year, maybe two or even three at a push. It was a gift of the highest order, it was a glimmer of Hope and it was decided through House's love of him. It was done because House had finally managed to prove to Wilson what he meant to him. This night's pain had now been worth it. He wouldn't be reaching for that gun in 5 months time after all. He suddenly remembered the night before and how he had made an important promise. Now for once he felt like honouring that.

"I love you Wilson"

"I know"

A stray tear was caught by the Diagnostician as he caressed the frightened face of his friend and pulled him forward into the darkness once more. Soon they were lost in time. The years, Months, Weeks, days, Hours, Minutes and seconds, that were cruelly ticking away with each moment no longer seemed to matter. The there and now, the complete togetherness they could finally explore, was the only true reality that mattered. Everything else, including death, would have to wait patiently for them now.


End file.
